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Bangkok Hash House Bikers Established 1992

It's not just mountain bike riding, it's an adventure!

Last Revised: 1 February, 2012

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Venue: Kaeng Krachan Country Club & Resort
Hares: Neil "Weedeater" B. and Lynda "No Meat" S.
Dates: 28/29 January 2012
Scribe: Laura “Needs A Screw” S.

After a year and a half it was finally here…the somewhat-Annual General Meeting weekend/ride held in Kaeng Krachan at the Kaeng Krachan Country Club Resort, probably the biggest resort in Thailand with more acreage than some small countries. It is so big the staff does not even know where things are. Laura “Loose Zipper” E. and Roger “Hot Flashes” E. were seen wandering around for an hour with map in hand after receiving their room key and vague finger-waving directions. Worn-out though they were after the search for their room, they got a late start, and thanks to the wily hares with all their checks and tricks, they were able to catch up with the riders.

It was a ride to look forward to since the hares, Lynda “No Meat” S. and Neil “Weedeater” B., had promised games and tricks and surprises for the 120 riders…and they didn’t let us down. The 40km Saturday ride came complete with a word game, a balloon challenge, more checks than there were in all of the rides in the past year together, a water break at 20km back at the resort, and a stop at about 35km at the top of a mountain that included a beautiful view of a dam and a free beer out of the back of a truck. The games were great, the ride was exhilarating, and the checks were plentiful. And much to the chagrin of the FRB wannabees, thanks to all those checks all 120 riders finished together with nobody returning after dark for a nice change.

Unfortunately, we hashers were a fairly subdued bunch, as the dreary words in the recent email from the outgoing Grand Spoke, Chris “Sackashit” O., were still bringing us down…it seems the BHHB group is in the midst of a financial crisis and the members had to pay for the AGM ride for the first time in history, and worse- pay for their own beer at dinner. “Sackashit”, leading his last circle, paid for this news by being bombarded with flying empty beer cans and a down down…that made us all feel better. There were 4 new members and 20 visitors all disappointed in the lack of freebies. Other news from the circle included the happy news of three recent marriages, one impregnation, and one engagement. Chris “Pencil Flasher” B. invited all of the hashers to his upcoming wedding. There were at least two namings that I can remember: One woman, who likes to ride alone, opted for “Cranky Bitch” instead of “Private Pleasures” causing one hasher to remark that perhaps the cranky bitch needs some more private pleasures. Carol Schaefer, found to be riding without a spare tube when she needed one, was named “No Rubber, No Ride”, which made the Hash Moosic, “Pencil Flasher” call out “But if you rub her right you can ride her all night”.

The AGM dinner that night was held at the large resort reception area and included a tasty buffet dinner, BUT NO FREE BEER. The nonstop entertainment included a great video show, raffle prizes for everyone, free t-shirts, prizes for the winners of the balloon challenge, and prizes for the word game winners, BUT NO FREE BEER. The out-going board was thanked for their service and berated for spending all the money, and the new board was introduced. See the website committee page for the list of new committee members. The former Grand Spoke “Sackashit” handed over his necklace to Roger “Hot Flashes” E and a new era began. A group of people stayed to dance and enjoy the music….but they had to buy their own beer.

The Sunday ride was, in the words of “No Meat”, a true hangover ride…fast, easy, relatively flat, and still thrilling, with at least one rider getting airborne over a small ditch. All in all, a great ride, except for the average of 4 punctures per hasher. The thorns were sharp, the branches were pointy, and, as Marcel can tell us, the ground was hard. One banged up shin about 2 km in forced him to turn back. There was a water stop at about 17km in and, for those who didn’t take the shortcut, 13 km more of the same thorns and branches and punctures completed the ride.

We all circled up to hear what the new committee members had to tell us. 100 hashers crowded under the shade of a tiny shrub, and in a seamless transition of power, “Hot Flashes” received the cheat sheet from “Sackashit” so that he could lead the circle in the correct order. However, he couldn’t remember who his new board members were, and so he just told them all to do their jobs. New Hash Moosic, Josh “Pussy Fingers” S. led the first down down calling for the financial bailout of the BHHB because we are too big to fail. “Sackashit” was again called into the circle and again received a beer can bombardment as people decided the financial crisis was all his fault. New RA, Martin “Passing Gas” R. told a long story about the country western dancing he enjoyed the night before with Osama “Sexy Beast” R., “Hot Flashes”, “Loose Zipper” and a bunch of local townspeople. Other circle events included the usual offending of various nationalities, including Belgians, French, and Australians. A new bike was christened, and finally the hares, “No Meat” and ‘Weedeater” were congratulated on a job well done.

The scenery was nice, with lots of hills, cows, and farm land, and very few signs of civilization. The entertainment was ongoing, the resort was spacious, and dinner was great…an enjoyable weekend of riding, except for the thorns…and the coffee….that sucked.