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Ride no.:- 484/485 23/24 April 2016
Hares:- Nigel 'Sticky Tools' F., Herve 'Hairy Nut Scaper' H. and Ed 'Can't screw' S
Location:- Saraburi, Baandara Resort
Scribe:- Agony Aunt

Aapril Ash Rightup

Zee 'aires warned us zat eet was goeng to bé very hot! Indeed, we came oot of our air condishe-oned room and stéppéd into an oven wiv zee thairmostat on full blast! The Aapril Ash beat all zee records! Vraiment!

Mon Diéu! We must bé mad!! ii félt like staying at le resairt eating zum croissents and frogs legs, taking a fu dips een la swimméng poul, lazing around like... pourquoi pas?

But non, instead ii fullowéd la crazy bunch of Ashairs as usual. I shall be a Ashair through and through! But oops! ii noticéd zat mon handlebar was lowair than usual. What le 'ell? La LPR mechanic téam 'ad a close look at mon vélo ét tried to fix mes front shocks but non, ii will have to do zis ride shock-lez... Mairdé alairs! I thought my Rockshox fork was guarantéd for life! Non?

Ma shock-less ride was prettay un-evéntful, no shock, no fun, éxcept for a fu wild cow encountairs along la route et many oppairtunitees to take photos wiv Eager Beavair and Hot Tottie... Zo keen was zee Hot Tottie zat she fell ass first een a rice paddy! Classic non?

Ze circle 'appénéd around et in la swimmeng pool ... We réahl-lneeded to coul down aftair la 'ot ride!! Wé all got to chek out Sticky Touls tattoo art wark... Most of it... I'm sure théré eez much more undair 'is batheng shorts! Bien sur!

ii wondair 'ow much beer ended up een zee pool? All ii remember eez zat some of ze white bread we sairve Ashairs was dipped een zee chloriinatéd water and sampléd by “Sees Wood Gives Head” little kids. Must 'ave been a delicacy as les kids were not making funny faces and ask for more! Oui, oui!

Also le piss pot of le month, Bill Schooner, was found guiltay for causing a lairge tsunami wave whilé jumpeng in la swimming pool. Quite a few Ashairs got their buttom very wet especial-iee Loose Zipper and she was not imprézed! Zee Tsunami monsieur drank zee hole piss pot in one gulp... Not a drop went in la pool! Mais oui!

Are you tiaiyaired of readéng mon frenglish? ii 'ope zo because I'm exhaustéd ear. ii should 'ave put Airy Nut Scapair een charge of zis difficult task because he is zee frenglish profezional!

Merci buckets to all Aires involved in setting the ottest Ash ever!

C’est tout!

Aunt Agony

Page last updated: 14 May, 2016