Rides:- 244/245 27/28 May 2006. Location:- Eastern Grand Palace, Pattaya-on-SeaHares:- Chris "Pencil Flasher" Byrd and Jason "Hen Pecked" SmithThe Flora rideSaturday was a LOOOONG stretch through Pattaya Tai Flora – from the Tapioca fields to the pineapple fields, Pomelo fields, paddies, up to the mint plants growing in the under bush.It was a long 25 k to the water stop – but it wasn’t hard – slightly technical – but it was all doable. Weather was with us – some clouds – relatively cool. There was a bit of excitement especially for those of us who had the pleasure of meeting some dirt bikers who were taking the same trail as us at one point of time.This pastoral picture could not last forever. After the water stop - all hell seemed to break loose. First of all the heat seemed to go up a notch – which is never good when you’re pedaling on dry sandy terrain, the up hills seemed steeper and longer. Bikers seemed to be stopping along side of the trail. The kms we rode seemed longer and longer.Being away from the Hash for 3 months – I was a bit knackered (… And Yes doing a Saturday ride with a hangover IS a mistake – and I guarantee I won’t do that one again) I rode a while with Tasneem after Stephanie and Henri poured some water on my head as I was seeing red (literally).We were a trio until we bumped into Sabina not too far from the Chinese temple and pretty much after that I was on my lonesome after mistaking rubbish for paper – but it was too late – I was too far down and too knackered to ride back up. Sound familiar to other poor little devils lost he?I was in the middle of the hills – away from any visible road – the sun was setting. I expected my survival instincts to start kicking in. All these millions of years of evolution – I thought I may have genetically inherited some kind of tool.To my surprise, an instinct did kick in – the instinct of finding an air-con room, a nice hot shower, soap, a ham & cheese sandwich with a couple of chips for croutons and mayonnaise spread on either side and an ice cold beer … it hit me with a shock – genetically – I’m a comfy man.Anyway –I started locating some familiar ground – I decide to take all the small paths that brought me closer to the setting sun. 20 minutes down – I see a Glider in the sky.“A HA!” I almost scream. “I saw you this morning beside the hotel.” I start pedaling harder. Slowly trails become broken up roads and those evolve into low grade tarmac. At an intersection I meet 4 Thais having the traditional beer of sunset.“Kho tood krap – Sukhuvit yew ti nai?” I ask.“Sukhumvit! Straight down, mate. Another couple of blocks.”Great! I didn’t even acknowledge the fact they were speaking fluent English until a couple of Kms down the road. The sun was dipping into the sea which I could see now from my position in the hills. I felt a rush of adrenaline from my Comfy side, started pedaling like crazy – headed straight down the road overtaking surprised motorcycles. I look on my right – a field with Gliders. I was close. I look on the other side of the main road. I see the Fashion outlet. I can’t see the Big C but I know where I am – I ride on the wrong side of the road up to the Soi of the Eastern Grand – I’m in at 7pm thinking I’m the last one in. I was not. A dozen guys were still out there…The FaunaSunday however is another story altogether. A relatively flat and fast 20kms ride through a lot of slushy terrain. No heat strokes – no major casualties except for some mud bath enthusiasts… However we did get the opportunity of riding past packs of dogs, flocks of black chickens, herds of cows, goats and sheep & seeing floating snails in paddy fields...By the way did any body else get the impression somebody was trying to shoot us while we were pedaling through there? I never heard so many firecrackers go off during the day.The Sunday ride was concluded by a long 3 kms downhill back to the hotel where we had a nice circle and a couple of namings.Congratulations – you’re true hashers now J.On a sadder note – we learnt we were losing one of our religious advisors, you’ll be missed Becky. Best of luck with this new adventure.Reverse screw.