Date: 24/25 April 2010. 7th Pineapple Classic.Venue: Horseshoe Point, Banglamung, Pattaya.Hares: Shity Shity Bang Bang, Maverick, The Pope.Scribe: Dyke Diver... no kidding!The Pattaya ride began with a torrential "Wrath of God" rain storm. Instead of riding, I went to the bar and had gin & tonics for the rest of the day. The end. Respectfully submitted, Carl "Dyke Diver" Rubin. Well actually, I wanted to go to the bar and drink but since I got roped into writing the Hash Report, against my better judgment, I got it in gear and set off into the storm behind the main pack. Ditches and gullies ran fast and deep with water and the initial stages of the ride created messy conditions. Arguably, the rain turned out to be blessing in disguise as it packed down the sand and made ride-able much of what would otherwise require walking.Soon enough, the skies cleared and the group was treated to a pleasant albeit muddy ride. The area's hills and pineapple fields were filled with nice views and the route had some climbs to keep the pack huffing and puffing. The last third of the ride rewarded riders for all the climbing with a fast, mostly downhill 12K which was great fun. It was not a technical ride, so there's no crash and burn report, due to lack of major mishaps.The circle saw a record number of new riders from America this month, all of whom left the divisive US health care reform debate behind to come to peaceful, stable Thailand. Unfortunately, they experienced the unrest currently plaguing the nation first hand, as both the Spice Road's red shirts and the Tour de Thailand yellow shirts showed up for the ride. The red shirts, proposed a trip to Mongolia but the yellow shirts countered with proposed tours of Thailand and Issan. Neither side seemed willing to compromise and the ride itself was marred by a great deal of mud being slung on all bikes.My own bike suffered from chain slip and lots of drive train and pivot noises and an unnamed source at LPR, an unaffiliated bike repair group that just wants everyone to get along, are that a record number of bikes are being treated for minor damage. The one bright spot was that everyone was united in the view that the chilli dogs served in the circle were nothing less than revered and both sides claimed to fully support them for future rides; however questions remain whether the chili dogs, popular as they are, will be able to continue to serve the group in the future.There is cause for hope however. The Hash welcomed one new American who hails from Alaska. As everyone on the planet learned from the last US presidential elections, all Alaskans are, by definition, foreign policy/security experts because they live right next to Russia, and thus are uniquely qualified to resolve this whole red rider/yellow rider situation. So don't be concerned. Come on out to next month's ride to experience a new, more harmonious ride, filled with a diverse spectrum of men and women. I'm not kidding.