Date: 24/25 October 2009.Venue: Paradise Resort, Muak Lek.Hares: Blister Bits and Yannick.Scribe: Lem "No Good Boyo" MThe official run numbers were not shown to me but I would guess there were just about a few more than 70 on the Saturday ride.  If you don’t take note of anything around you, you will not know that a nasty weather pattern lingering over Southern China combined with a cold front in the south of Thailand made for a lot of rain over the country.  So much so, that the hares Linda and Yannick told us that they had to cut off 12 kms of their ride in order to make it manageable. That put together with the fact they were scrubbed immaculately clean could only mean one thing – MUD and nothing quite glorious about it! But after precise instructions from Linda we followed and followed down to the hollow and there we did wallow in that bloody shiggy.  I missed the first fall very early on when Struan on his auspicious 101 ride came off his bike. Thinking to myself that I should probably get away quickly as I had possible crank problems, I sped down to the main road and reached for my first sip of cold water.  Nothing there!  I had left my Camel-Back in my room...  Later bringing up the rear I found the trail littered with riders struggling with punctured tyres and broken chains – and this was in the first 5kms!! I thought smugly that my ‘kevlar’ protection would see me through, but after spotting the ON-IN on the road and turning left into the bush on the out trail again, the inevitable happened.   So much for ‘kevlar’ protection!!  And I appreciated the greetings as some not particularly helpful hashers rode by!! We crossed the railway line. Kim decided to ride across, but this time gravity got the better of him and his bike. Impressive too was Mark and Cat Chuter with their girls Kara and Jazzy. Foolish to attempt a Saturday ride I thought privately, but they were having fun and so much so that we missed a loop and found ourselves short-cutting onto the trail over a wire fence. Joris, ever the gentleman was there to help.  I think the Chuter’s eventually turned back but kudos to them nonetheless.Nearing the railway station I came across Cheri desperately encouraging Margharita to get to the top of the hill – for there unknown to both of them was the drink stop, where it seemed at least a quarter of the pack had been there for a very long time. Taking one and a half hours to cover the 15km to the drink stop was hard going and the thought of a further 25km was daunting.   But what a lovely railway station there was there at HuaLap (?) levers and gauges, signs and sidings, whistles and points; then conveniently a train pulled in and passengers alighted while we were there!  Truly a train spotter’s paradise.  But not for Da who was too busy washing her bike, would you believe!!Then on to the next few hours where there was another drink stop and a ‘short cut’ back which turned out to be over 10km on the very hilly road.  Wolfgang remarked that he had quite sufficient workout for the day with the first half of the ride plus the challenge of getting back on this road.  Confusion at one check where Rick got detached from others in his group and Patricia had already found the trail and gone. The trail is we are told excellent when dry, but it remained very hard work to cover the sodden ground. We weaved on to the road, then back in for a loop, out on the road and back in for another loop. One positive with the loops – we missed out the road climbs!  And so it continued until we saw the ON IN sign sprayed on the tarmac.  By 5pm most were back, covered with mud and desperately tired.In the absence of the GM, his assistant Scrotum Dave took over with a mature, authorative, yet gentle manner. Returners and Visitors would come last as Joris was absent counting the cash. The RAs did a grand job. One hasher had a bunch of bananas on his person as he set off, in order it was said to attract young people!!  I remarked to Rick, that offering ‘Smarties’ or ‘Jelly Babies’ is a much more efficient way of attracting young people. But this tongue in cheek remark was overheard by Linda (No-Meat) not the hare, and so I was called in as a stand in.  Oh the shame of it all!!  Da was called in for washing her bike during the ride, Patricia for her effrontery in getting someone else to tie up her shoe laces and Wolfgang for showing more arse crack than a builder in South East London.  The hares followed for giving atrocious mis-directions and then followed a rather good Thai – English translation duo of Lerm (Dominatrix) and No Meat.  It all alluded to the relationship between bikes, rides and husbands particularly her of bike-washing fame!  Very funny indeed – so could we have something similar and just say for one minute at each circle??On more serious matters Struan our GM in 2000 got his 100th mug from last ride. So did Da and Scrotum  Dave the stand in GM. Congratulations!An even better award is that of ‘Pisspot of the Month’ which eventually went to Rick for complaining that Linda swore too much. The Pot and the kettle perhaps? But at least Rick was the only guy in there capable of drinking the piss. And so the circle drew to a close at 6.30pm and we said farewell and FOYC to Numb Nuts who is going away yet again.Well done hares and their knowledgeable helpers for the challenging rides and the snacks beautifully presented (also thanks to the Bondsisters for helping) and thanks to the stand in GM and his RAs for a job well done.On onNo Good BoyoWeb nerd note: GPX files not available for this ride