Da 'Black Buttocks' J
Richard 'Scrotum Dave' J
Rides:- 230/231 29/30 October 2005
Location:- Country Lake Resort, Uthai Thani
Hares:- Richard Jones and Da Halloween Hash 2005
So, let's talk about fashion first, DUH!!!
I was VERY impressed by the "turn out" of costumed Hashers on the Sunday, Halloween ride!!! Especially since I was the one who sent out the "let's all wear costumes" email and only came as myself.......ohhhhh, SCARY!!! We had Ghosts, Serial Killers, Skeletons, Witches and a hodgepodge of assorted ghouls, glam-girls and geeks. The only thing I missed was the Trick or Treating. Oh well, can't have Beauty, Brains AND Trick or Treating.
THE RIDE Saturday
Flat, Flat, Flat as a Cow's face. And speaking of cow's, our very own Pablo (or "Crackaddict") must have been hearing the ancient call of his Spanish blood fearlessly leading the "Running of the Cow's" or was it the " Stampede of the Cow's" , MILES from their home and the poor farmer who threw up his hands in exhasperation. Yee Haw, Pablo!! Gorgeous scenery, beautiful day and the trail littered with Hashers (or should I say, "Slashers") who bent over their bikes furiously pumping and cursing life into their puncture wounded tyres. "Trail of Tears" or "Thorn Lane", take your pick, but if you didn't have a flat tyre by the end of the weekend, you really weren't in the cool group!
The evening circle took its victims at the hands of the Dynamic Duo, Weedeater and his ever sarcastic bride, No Meat and guided by the lovely and mostly blond, Easy A (Khun Amanda) - Oracle with a Mean Streak and penchant for Singh Beer.
Let's put our hands together for the Man on the Casio who serenaded us at dinner with resplendent lounge versions of Duran Duran and Love Boat. And a shout out for our newest song bird, Hanibal Lector!!
THE RIDE Sunday
Sunday's Halloween ride was lightning fast and I nearly blew a lung and spat up blood trying to keep up with the Stallions in the lead peloton. After a near career ending crash, Oreo, assisted by the Skeleton (was that Patricia??) dusted off, and muscled his way back to the early breakaway leaders, Monsieur Les Flopp, Weedeater and somehow Me eating dust in 4th. Oreo was a mere blurr as he smoked by me and sunk his teeth into Weedy’s wheel, determined to make his mark on the Leaders and Halloween Hash History! Watching these Studs jockey position for the Fierce Sprint to the Finish was a true testament to Addonis like Athleticism. Honestly, Weedster, I don't think you need that Viagra after all.... I still need the wine though... Meanwhile, Ghostly Bits and Witchy Witch were the Spooky Mascots leading the Main Peloton to the Finish. And was that the Lovely/Mean Oracle getting out of a "CAR" at the finish? FIRED!!! The Sunday Circle would have been a bit lacklustre if Monsieur Les Fillepe Flop (MC Double F, Yo Wazzz Up??) hadn't stepped up and taken the role of Replacement Tenor, abandoned for the day by Hash Music, Reverse Screw (69. Um, I don't get it. Will someone draw me a picture??). Showing us again that he is a Natural Leader and man of many talents, MC Squared F bravely lead us through the "Me, Me, Me's...." Nevermind he never got the damn words right!! Don't worry yer pretty little head, Double F, look at Courtney Love!! She muttered and sloshed her way through HER career and look where she is now!!
We had a few namings, the ever Hunky Pablo now, "Crack Addict" (you must have been a good Catholic by the way you kneel on the floor....or something....) and Stephanie now " SuckyFace, SuckThis or SuckyFresh or something......help!!. All in all, everyone had a great time and it was a great weekend ride despite Hare's Dave and Blackbuttocks misleading most of the pack on Sunday's Ride with false trails and confetti like trail laying. Spank 'em both!! Love ya, Miss Ya , Really Mean it....and until next Hash, keep the "Rubberside Down" People!!!