Rides:- 228/229Date:- 24/25 September 2005Khao Yai Grand View ThaniHares:- Sverre and NeungScribe:- Linda FraikinBij deze, als gevraagd, mijn bijdrage in het Nederlands. Double Dutch beheers ik nog niet, maar daar wordt hard aan gewerkt. Helaas is het alweer eeuwen geleden is dat ik iets fatsoenlijks in het nederlands heb geschreven… voor de zekerheid dan toch maar in het engels…MODDERMUD: noun. a mixture of water & dirt.Ride No.: 228  September 24th 2005, Khao Yai. Hares: Sverre & Neung.About 80 very dappere bike fanatics (many newbies!!!) had managed to find their way to Khao Yai, ready for an action packed weekend. Little did they know…… There had been a big thunder storm Friday evening, which had washed away most of the trail. Result: Neung & Sverre had to get up at 5.00 on Saturday morning, armed with torches and headlights, to re-paper the pre-papered trail.Not only had most of the paper disappeared, many MUD puddles had appeared. The hares were slightly nervous: would the mud slow down the pack? Would they make it back before dark? How do you actually MAKE a tuna/corn salad?The RideThe announcement of a very muddy start didn't put off too many hashers. On-on! Did they all fall for the: Only in the beginning... Muddy it was indeed! Luckily there were more than enough river-crossings to wash off the mud.Talking about water... Just out of curiousity, did any of you ladies (Christa?, Stacey?) skreeching: 'I don't want to get any leeches', manage to pick-up any? Didn't think so.Err… Had anyone told me in advance that I'd have to do a write-up, I might have paid some (extra) attention…If I remember correctly (how could I forget), there was a big climb somewhere in the middle... Which brought forth a dilemma. What to do?• Skip the hill all-together (for those with bronchitis and other diseases)• Go up in a pick-up (for the 'beginners')• Ride up (for the hard-core hashers). Most hashers choose to ride up this mud-free road (an opportunity not to be missed). But I did see, two fully loaded, pick-up's going up… and they weren't just filled with mechanics.But mechanics were desperately needed. Holger broke his chain (luckily I was there to assist him + show off my chain repair tool). And Vincent our chain (breaking) expert also assisted and shared some of his insights. There were (not surprisingly) some derailleur problems (due to the various mud-baths, I guess). Ryan 'saw the light' and discovered he had aspirations for the circus, turning his bike into a unicycle 'on the go'.Going downhill was much more (dangerous, slippery and) fun. Spending much time behind Black Buttocks (You're right Wheat Eater, it's indeed a great view). Strangely enough, Hubby Dave, for some strange reason made an effort to stay ahead. Occasionally stopping to make sure that he was still in the lead ……last thing I remember (of the ride) was that I was riding through fantastic scenery, a mountain in the background, a fabulous sunset, beautiful big white birds bovenin de bomen. I (we) did get back before dark, but didn't make it in time for the tuna/corn salad.I did manage to remember a couple of things that happened in, and after the circle (I wonder why). Particularly those, that happened sometime after dinner.The circle and beyondDown-down with Philippe Flop, ON HIS KNEES!!! Followed by a double down-down, by Philippe Flop, ON HIS KNEES!!!  Followed by… (the things people do to get a free beer).But this was absoluut overtroffen by the naming session of Miss Mayhem. Miss May henceforth will be known as: 'Any cock will do'. I would like to propose an alternative spelling: Annie Cockeldoo. Any votes?!And than, there were food & beverages + some thanks & compliments concerning sponsoring & clothing. By the way, what's the story behind your 'Fashion Flower', Wee Wee?After that there was a little Photography Battle: Winger versus Shoulder Shock OR Khao Yai versus Cambodia. But after various slide shows (Many Thanks, Aunt Agony & Shoulder Shock ), something completely different caught our attention…… John Travolta? Patrick Swayze? Ricky Martin? NO! NO! It's our own: Dirty Dancing Devil from Duitsland: Detlef. Carpet Burn was the only one willing to challenge this dance devil and performed a great pole-dance-act on stage. Go Girl!!! Maybe Tonya could have done an 'Interpretative Dance'?!Unlike many other hashes, various people were very keen to get some extra exercise and joined-in on the dance floor. To great embarassement of some. Shitfaced couldn't stand the sight of Mum & Dad dancing and did a runner. One – two – three – four – five – six – seven - eight. Thank you, Prince & Bob Marley. Can someone bring some music next time?Conclusions• In the beginning there was mud, a challenging climb and a relaxing slab of tarmac.• The most creative contribution of the day came from Chris Byrd. Annie who?• It's a real shame Detlef will be leaving, now that WE have discovered his entertainment value.Note:Forcing a gal into a mud-puddle isn't an alternative pick-up line.  *  *Ride No.: 229 Hangover Ride  September 25th 2005, Khao Yai. Hares: S&M.The amount of riders has decreased extensively, but quite a few were still willing to wrestle some more mud. The first part of the ride was mud-free. But some riders were still afraid to get stuck. Not in the mud though, but in prison… To be more specific: The Bamboo Park (fancy name for the gaol). Did anyone do a head count?To be honest, some people should have joined the 'chain gang'. Pablo and Shoulder Shock have become serious serial offenders in chain molesting.After jail we did some more mud wrestling and ploughed through a field of mud. Rumor has it that this was once a place where many trees had been growing. But due to the need of paper for a hash trail…Since we are (again) on the subject of mud, one of the RAs had made it utterlyclear that RA's can't be exposed in the circle. Silly rule! But what about writing?. So for all those people who weren't informed about this spectacular event. Black Udder got stuck in the mud, and made an impressive nosedive! Don't worry, mud is good for the skin.Returning onto the tarmac we were in search of a water stop. Unfortunately the search was in vain. When we inquired about the water stop, one smart*** mentioned: this is water (pointing at the canal) so this is where you stop. Vive la France!  But the water didn't stop us, even when we had to go in waist deep.The CircleThe circle was a true naming event. Four people have been added to the hash family and have officially been initiated.• Sverre & Neung, henceforth will be known as: S&M. And this doesn't stand for Sandwich & Mayonaise.• Amanda henceforth will be known as: Easy Access, due to the lovely skirt she was wearing (and handling professionally).• Detlef, henceforward will be known as: 'Snake Hips' or was it 'Shake Hips', 'Hip Shake'? Help!Conclusions• Ingredients hash: SL* of mud, river crossings, dance & disease• Most used sentence: On his knees!!!• Most unnoticed fact: Spiderman was seriously wounded by some bamboo.A word of thanksHaving been able to stay out of the circle most of the time (guess this will change after this creative piece of writing), a certain person came up with alternative punishment. Write-up? Err… I was too afraid to say 'no', since my friends had just revealed that the person in question was named 'The Beast'...No thanks, it was a pleasure to do the write-up. Sorry if it has turned into my little private revenge. Talking about the subject: Henri, beware!A real word of thanksS&M, you did a fabulous job! I loved both rides and judging by the responses in the circle everyone agrees! Great trails! There was enough variation in road surface to not be bothered (too much) by the mud. But I needed a theme…Groetjes,Blister Bits.