Rides:- 184/185Date:- 18/19 Oct 2003Location:- Bang SarayHares:- Don and Marc LavoieScribe:- VincentWe got up at 8am 2 hours after going to bed, rushed to the Probike only to realize we were Saturday and the APEC traffic limitations had started so Sukhumvit was closed and we had to go through Petchburi road. 9am. After a painstakingly long traffic jam and 45mns in a citrus B.O. cab, we finally reached Probike where the staff was setting up our 3 Shimano bikes at Mach 200… (or was it mach 0.02?) There, we met the O’Reillys while Eric was trying to fit 3 bikes in the trunk of a 95 Toyota. Mark spotted that we were blue and offered to take wheels in the back of his jeep while we fitted the frames in the trunk. Thanks Martin & Anya, we couldn’t have done it with you.10am: We’re off: speeding the wind in our hair, we have a deadline to respect, our bike wheels are already an hour from Bang Saray – but we’re still starting to get out of Bangkok! APEC – deviated traffic – all the people deciding to spend the week-end in Pattaya = traffic Jams. So we do what’s expected: we swear and blame the world – we’re blue & we’re French. (I’ll spare you a detail of the 3 following hours – but there was a lot of swearing, a lot of tension and not enough red wine)1:30pm. We reach Bang Saray. Martin kept the wheels are in the back of his truck. Marc is there. Oi! Mon Dieu! He help us Blues fit the wheels on the Shimano bikes. 2pm. We’re finally off. “On-on”. What the hell does that mean? Now as I said before – we were Blue. But after 30mns – our faces are Red. Florian and myself have never done a Hash before. It was Erics’ second hash. Who’s Eric? Well if you didn’t see him, you most certainly heard him. After getting a heart attack by crossing the highway, we meet up with Samantha who is checking her GPS for the quickest way to reach the Chinese temple. Chinese temple? Are we pedaling our way to the Great Wall?? “On-on.” I hear. Eric’s on a trail! We’re off. From then on everything goes much faster, we’re zooming past fields, slush and dirt. Kind villagers indicate the way “falang pai trong ni” We’re off again. “Florian, why are you wearing black pants on the Hash, I thought you had bermudas?” “No my little blue/red friend, “cuissardes” are too expensive, I’m being Dutch about this first trial.” Hmm Anyhow – we finally reach the Chinese temple and after I give a magnificent display of ingenious mastery in bike steering while hopping on a wooden bridge like a cat on a hot tin roof ; we start a painstaking ascension into the reserve – it finally occurs to me that pedaling in gears 2-4 is much easier than 3-7 when you’re on a ramp! … (Ooohhh he’s so blue…) We catch up with the main party and chitchat with a very sweet Mexican couple. Where’s Eric? Where’s Florian? I heard an echo. “Yeeee—haaaa.” I didn’t see any cowboys on the trail, I assume it’s Eric who’s found the steep decent. I look about myself, my legs are killing me, but I’m in such a wonderful countryside. This is a nice place to bike. The trees, the fresh air, the way your lungs feel clear. Me likes. “Yeee-haaa” I just found the descent. We meet up at the foot of the reserve.We’re out and into this field of red rocks. Hawk-Eye Eric spots a trail blazer and white paper on the left side of the road. “Say – wasn’t the paper supposed to be on the right?” Who cares, we’re off.Half way through the trial I meet up with Don who’s waiting for straddlers … Hmm, I guess that’s me. Eric and Florian are already half a mile away. Bolloks! I’m taking the easy way out. I follow Don who – being my lifesaver – suddenly bares a keen resemblance to Don Corleone had Marlon Brando actually mountain-biked in the Godfather part1!!The next thing I know we’re crossing the highway again. My only thought is: Don’t die. Don’t die, I don’t want to die ‘coz living is good and dying … Not as good.And we’re pedaling again – until we reach a small stream and I burst out laughing as I see people pedaling through the stream and falling sideways as they bump into something under the surface. I cross on foot. I don’t have the biking experience – but I’ve got my Teva spider-web slippers and I trekked through the freezing streams at the top of the Himalayas with 60 pounds on my back (or was it crossing fresh streams at the foot of the Himalayas with a six-pack?). Anyway – I cross with my Shimano – then cross again with Florians’ Shimano but when he asks for a piggy back, I decline – “You’ll jut have to wet those black pants of yours.”“On-on” – we’re off again we reach the “Bang Saray Fishing Club” – we’re the lasts ones in – but it was a hell of an initiation ride. A circle is organized – what’s going on? Lynda asks what we thought of the ride. Flat, someone says. Flat!?!?! Which part of the trail were they referring to?! I need a beer. What’s this? France won in Rugby? 51-21! Yay! We meet with Annie in the middle of the circle and I celebrate my first Down-down-down. I learned a new song. Oi! Is that Chris from the Bullshead? I thought he went everywhere in his tuk-tuk. Does he have a license to bike? Yes, he does.Can’t wait for the hangover ride, all we need is to prepare a decent hangover. Not a problem, England won the rugby match that night. We meet wonderful friendly folk and have a delicious sausages and paté (Kiss the chef, ladies)  Sunday. The ride starts at Sea Sun and Sand. Fun. I’m looking forward to another day where we can see yet another face of the outskirts of Pattaya – nice country sides, fresh air, the works. The ramp right at the beginning is most appreciated. Morgane – who didn’t ride Saturday as she watched Rugby - is thinking of quitting when we have only crossed the highway and barely biked a couple of miles. A bit of pep talk and we’re at it again. We catch up with the pack next to a ... garbage dump!?!?!  “Anybody else behind you? Nope – I’m last”. Same old, same old. I ride a long while next to Martin who is very good at pedaling through slush without getting his shoes dirty. We’re riding through slushier and slushier trails. Now we ride past a beautiful reservoir, we stop to have a drink. I share a smile with the Godfather – we rode this trail yesterday in the short-cut. We’re riding in the red-rocks again. This time Marc and Jason are chaperoning the straddlers. “Where’s Morgane? She’s with the middle of the pack, who’s last? I am.” Same old, same old. We reached the painted Buddha which was painted on the side of a quarry – Marc explains this urban legend of how monks painted this HUGE Buddha in ONE night. Impressive. We stay there a while. I notice some fellow hashers have this interesting device on their steering which tells them exactly how many miles they’ve pedaled. I also notice some of them are turning the front wheel at full speed just to add a few extra miles on the device Hmm. Nice rest – casual chitchat, and we’re off again – but not before Marty rides down a series of stairs with fellow Evil Kenivils. We’re riding down hill for a couple of miles and we take a sharp left through a sand trail which should bring us to Nong Nuch village. Unfortunately – if we’re not in the Bermuda triangle – we are in the Golden triangle. The bridge has disappeared. We ride through slush, rock and sand – but no avail.I learn that the easiest way to ride through sand is to pedal in the lowest gear. Thanks Don. So we ride back a mile but in sand! Bloody hell – now that’s tricky! We ride through what looked like a construction site, but I’m too preoccupied by the sand trail to make sure. To catch up with the rest of the group – we –straddlers - ride past an elephant!Hello Colonel Hati – he acknowledges by swinging his trump. Ride people! Ride for your lives! We catch up with everybody. “Anybody else behind you? Nope, I’m last”. Same old, same old. There is some unrest. “What’s going on? We have to cross a stream.” Problem? No – actually that was the best part – we were all sweating like hell and the water actually allowed us to freshen up AND clean our bikes. Ration bars were distributed and we were off again. The longest ascension yet. But we were rewarded with a wonderful downhill. “Yeee-haaa” Another highway crossing and we’re back to the Sea Sun Sand.Another circle – Don and Marc had a lot of Down-down-downs – some believe for punishment. I’d say as a reward – I loved the Sunday ride. Plus I learned that Shimano isn’t a bike brand – but bike equipment brand. J… (Ooohhh he’s so blue… So when Lynda asks “Will you be coming back?” I can say for sure that Eric, Florian, Morgane and myself are definitely “on-on”.