Ride no.:- 490, 30 July 2016Hares:- Osama 'Sexy Beast' R, Chieri 'She swallows' U, Jesper 'From Behind' JLocation:-Chachengsao, Lanna ResortScribe:- Scrotum DaveWhere have all the hashers gone?Only 32 riders set out from the resort, many less than we used to have just a few months ago. Luckily we set off in dry conditions though it had rained heavily during the night. As briefed by the hares the ride would be 42 kms including a 7 km mountain loop with a short cut alternative loop of just 2 kms.The trails would be dry with just a little mud so we were told, did we believe this, no because it looked as if the hares had cleaned up before the briefing. Lying B’s as always we thought.Not long into the ride and after passing though too many mud pools we came to a halt with a long queue of hashers alongside a klong. We were to leave the trail and cross the klong using a bridge of sorts that consisted of a log and bamboo rail which Sexy Beast was holding to aid those hashers crossing one by one. The trail then continued on the other side of the klong. Some hashers tired of waiting decided to avoid the bridge and try to find another crossing. On seeing hashers avoiding the bridge other hashes cried “is there another crossing further on”, “No” replied Sexy Beast “you must cross here” was the reply. The lying ‘B’ a hare through and though!! Only when one unfortunate hasher fell into the klong did we realize that just 300 meters further on there was a tarmac road and a concrete bridge.More mud pools followed until we reached a very busy main road and once again Sexy Beast was there to help but this time he behaved himself, no miss information and all the hashers crossed safely and onto the water stop.Once refreshed, with water and hot coffee for those who needed warming up we were ready for the highlight of the ride, the 7 km mountain loop. A big steady climb from just after the water stop became steeper near the summit but the track was good and rideable, although most hashers except for the FRB’s needed to stop for breather part way up. At the summit was a check with the downhill trail leading away to the right. There followed a sublime downhill through the forest with small uphill kickers meaning that a bit of peddling was required. The trail was not muddy although the roots crossing the trail were slippery.After the downhill we had to cross the main road once more and then it was a flat 14 kms back to resort and the beer.Reduced numbers of riders meant that we were missing our usual RA’s and Hash Moosik but Shitty Bang Bang and Pump Friction stepped in as the RA’s and Maverick stepped into Hash Moosik.The consensus around the circle was that for many years we have missed the hidden talents of these three long term hashers, Shitty Shitty and Pump Friction as guest RA’s provided great entertainment and lots of down downs for miscreant hashers ably backed up by Maverick as Hash Moosik.On on to the hares Sexy Beast, She Swallows, and From Behind for a great Hash and a great weekend!!!