Rides no:- 145 and 146   Date:- 15/16 December 2001Location:- Nakorn NayokHare:- Joylide and SubhumanScribe:- The Turgeese"And the clock struck one and I fell down." Pillock!! I'd just put me bike together and thought I'd give the new riser bars a pull with the resulting wheelie (NOT) clipped in straight over the back!! Done it before and I'll do it again no doubt - as I said. "Pillock!!" In true Hash tradition we're late off ("get there on time you lazy bastards!"), never mind that there's no sign of the Hares. The trail's erm..erm. that way!!! Down the hill, passed Rob putting his wheels on (see ya then!), out the gate- ON ON. We are on paper and away down the hill along the main road back towards Nakhon Nayok. We passed a group of 15 or so Thais on MTBs heading the other way. Then over the bridge we spied a family having a picnic in the river below, tables, chairs and all. Shortly after, we hit a side road and then the first check. The checkers went out and after 10 or 15 minutes of pondering I found paper heading off towards the river..sorry..through the river!! Not completely believing that the final stretch of water was thigh deep but there was paper up on the bank. ON ON At this point people got spread out into three (ish) groups. From the far bank the trail went through some banana trees and then seemed to go left, no right, no left!? Those that went right got into all sorts of bother i.e. no paper, which lead the GM to make desperate phone calls to those folk in front who as it happened had all left their phone at the resort!! Tee hee.. So the GM and crew were the 3rd group now the 2nd group was made up of those of us who had decided to take pity on the GM's last call from across the river of "wait at the next check". Anyway we waited for about 10 minutes but no sign. By this time GM was in his field!! While waiting there Ken tried to assist in the repair of a broken down lorry. "After comments of he ain't got XT on that thing" we set out in pursuit of the lead pack but not hold heartedly as we then waited on the next tarmac section, where a couple more joined our small group of 6. Marty wasn't far in front and we found him at the next check (which hadn't been broken and we suspected hadn't been seen by the lead group who probably continued along the road and picked up the paper further along it. Anyway @ the check (on the hill overlooking the dam construction -nice concrete!- lots of it!!) Ken and I thought straight on looked like fun and it was. Bumpy and fast, but absolutely no paper. Though we did find those Thais again who said they'd seen a lone farang on a Santa Cruz..that narrowed it down since there approx. 8 on the ride!!! We decided it had to be Marty and headed back, finding the paper and our little group again on the road which lead towards the dam complex. Keeping a wary eye on the left hand side, all of us missed the right turn through the gate into the village but found it on the way back from being "off paper". 30m into the village was the first drinks stop and one Manao soda- thankyou very much, sorry guys. First come first served! The shop owner pointed us in the right direction and off we went again- still no sign of the GM and friends. The next section took us onto a bit of laterite and then rocky track. Over the usual Sida bamboo bridge (on old ground again) and could it be right, up the hill- of course it was! A carry to the top and an excellent ride down the otherside. Rocky singletrack, ready to catch you out should you not be looking. Anthony managed to insert his bike onto a tree stump on the way down- it looked impressive from behind! Marty and Ken managed to escape us at this point. On to the laterite, then through a paddy field (good balance needed). More laterite and suddenly we'd caught the lead group (no Marty and Ken) just before a steep rocky climb- great challenge! Through the trees, then some tarmac and back onto latrerite again. And we'd caught Marty again, who'd gone the wrong way. More tarmac and laterite took us to the second drinks stop. Two bottles of Manao Soda at this shop and Ken and Richard were in there first. What followed was the longest 8 km of tarmac for a while, which turned into a time trial lead out by Ken, Marty and myself. That's the order we stayed til the end - this is not a race - just a game played by those wishing to be first back!!!! 40-45 km the estimated distance. The circle followed once the GM had found his way home. The singing was atrocious, the usual suspect got called in, hares, visitors, new spokes, pillocks who pull wheelies & fall off, people who don't answer there mobiles when the GM calls from his field (haha) etc etc... That night Pete Coeshott got his fiftieth ride mug which was impressive because he wasn't there!! Yours truly got his down down for having a rather similar appearance in the hair department.RIDE 146A lazy 11am start but all assembled, the Hares dosed out the destruction then we're off. Over a bridge and on up the hill through the woods- knee burning. A great track that follows the boundary of Cida and eventually leads to 2 suspension bridges. These are rideable on your own but a bloody weird experience with a few of you at the same time. With the bridge swinging it's impossible to ride. ON ON past some nice bungalows and out onto the road from yesterday which lead us back to the main road. A right up the hill to the Wat, that we should have known was a U turn !!! Back to the main road and left the same as yesterday. No river crossing today but straight on. Laterite roads lead us through the countryside, back across the main road through a few villages and a deserted resort eventually to the drinks stop. Bloody hell we've lost the GM again!!! He arrived just in time to catch Richard checking the consistency of the concrete being used for building opposite the drinks stop. With bikes all over the raod I decided to guide the traffic with me whistle- one for go, one for stop, one for left, one for right... ON ON up the valley through a village, through (or around) a rather mucky river. The track up the valley made some of us long for full suspension. Damn rocky but great fun at speed. At the end of the valley we had a rather picturesque river crossing although no one managed to ride it, many tried. 30 m up the trail and a "U turn 2km" was marked. More attempts to ride the river. I noticed that the fast attempts failed miserably so dropped into granny gear and slowly picked my way across (got a beer for it later) - the only one to ride it. This 2km U turn (more like 5km) caused some confusion including 3 of us riding jungle trails for 20 minutes "off paper". We found the paper again and headed home.Circle time and more crap singing. The words are "Here's to the ....he/she's a blue, he/she's a hasher through and through, he/she's a piss pot so they say and you'll never go to heaven in a long, long way, drink em down down down etc....He/she's no bloody use to any one he/she's no bloody us at all". No excuses next time! More usual suspects up for a down down.Thanks to Tim and George for another good Hash. A good turn out considering the Xmas exodus.