Venue: Wang Chan, Rayong province, Wangjuntr Golf ParktHares: Rob 'Compussy' R, Linda 'Blister Bits' F and Gilles 'Captain Condom’ B.Date: 24/25 Sep 2011.Scribe: Sticky BallsIf only I had remembered my snorkel and fins…The venue this month was Wangjuntr Golf Park Resort near Wang Chan in Rayong. A little too nice a resort for the likes of us, but we settled in well. It was a perfect area for a hash, with lots of hills and single track and plenty of rain on Saturday to keep down the dust.The Hares started us off 30 minutes early to make sure everyone would make it back from ride before dark (wishful thinking…). At the briefing, it became clear we were in for a good 45K ride over the mountain and back, and the usual “short cuts” had been replaced by a special FRB tracks which would be well marked in camouflage green paper.The ride began with 15K out over the hill including lots of rocky trails and nice section of single track through high bush. With proper planning those in the front knew just where to stop so we could always be standing in ever deeper puddles and thicker bike sucking mud. The Hares also found a nice wide stream to walk through and wash our bikes. A new hash name was earned here by Wet Lips when she discovered that the right side was deep enough for that. A bit further on, Black Buttocks found a way to break her chain and I stayed to watch Scrotum Dave’s expert chain repair technique. Little did I know would soon need to practice my skills there as well.The first water stop was well stocked in drinks and lots of room for standing around spitting out the pea sized seeds from the special 5 Baht bananas. A few intelligent riders opted for the truck ride back from there, but the rest of us set out for the climb back over the mountain. A few kilometers from the water stop the FRB track took off to the right. Being without my bike this weekend, I had a trusty rental bike with a chain that was by now jamming every second crank revolution when climbing. 500 meters up the FRB track we were already off paper. After No Meat and I back tracked and found the path which appeared to be heading straight up river, we decided that discretion would be the better part of valor and headed back to the white paper track.Several stream crossings later my chain started getting worse, it finally gave up on a down shift and I found myself spinning the cranks going nowhere. I pulled out my chain breaker and master links and pins, thinking I would have this fixed in no time. I had not really thought about the rental having an 8 speed chain which is too wide for my usual 9 speed kit. The fourth repair attempt was the trick, as I finally got a 9 speed pin to more or less attach to both sides of the chain.Next, we started a single track climb up a gorgeous valley in the mist. As the trail turned into a stream, the rain started to came down harder and the climb became steeper, the Bike Hash motto “It's not just mountain bike riding, it's an adventure!” became apparent. Soon we abandoned any attempt at mountain biking and started the hiking adventure while pushing and carrying our bikes up stream. The good news is that I was no longer concerned that my jury rigged chain would fail me on the climb. I just wished I had dressed for swimming and didn’t have this bike to tow. I later learned from Passing Gas that the FRB trail made ours look like a walk in the park. He was wishing he had brought his snorkel and fins for their special adventure and there was rumor that spawning salmon were spotted.In final assault at the top, I started dreaming about the downhill on the other side, thinking of fast single track through the bush. As it turned out, the decent was not to be so much a decent as another climb, followed by rock strewn trail that might have been passable if my front shocks and rear break not both given up the ghost by then.By the time we got to the second water stop, the Hares were advising us that following the road in rather than the track would be a more reliable way of getting in before dark. Having totally trashed my rental, I followed Sackashit down the road.Soon after that the hares decided to start sending riders in from the water stop by truck. The circle was started before dark and went on for almost two hours as truck loads of returners slowly arrived. The two Hares in attendance were saved piss pot of the month, as Pencil Flasher had earned a special place by staying at the pool all day getting well lubricated. He did an excellent job remaining standing as he downed the piss pot of beer. Our third Hare, Captain Condom apparently decided to take a two hour shower rather than get his well disserved abuse in the circle. Little did he know that the circle would still be in session when he finally showed up. Luckily there was still available praise to be had!Dinner was also an extended affair and those who did not pass out early were treated to karaoke and moon walking. With enough beer there is much that passes for entertainment. Don’t give up your day jobs guys!Sunday’s 30K ride started out through the extended gardens of the local Wat. Carefree hashers stopped to have group pictures taken with the large statues of turtles, parrots and the like. Their illusions of an easy Sunday ride vanished on the first false path climb up, up up, to nowhere. Next, we found that the hares had laid an excellent check which gave a few of us a kilometer or two of needed exercise while others basked in the shade. There was a nice rolling FRB track laid out starting at a well marked junction (which many somehow missed). A hundred meters down the FRB path there was very ride-able looking stream crossing. As I landed head first on the other side of the stream I found myself lying next to Passing Gas who had landed on his skidlid in the rocks just before me. He was most annoyed, having successfully removed the new skin on his shin which he had just grown back from a similar fall he took last month.Maybe it was just us, but the elusive green (camouflage) paper became more elusive as the FRB track proceeded. After far too long without any visible paper, we suddenly found ourselves on white paper again and were soon at the water stop. From the water stop it was mostly dirt and paved roads. At one point, our illustrious GM Sackashit appeared from a side road saying that he had been out for 30 minutes riding in circles trying to find the way out of a check. Of course, when we arrived at the check it had long been broken and it was a fast ride from there on in. There were the usual welcome beer and hash sandwiches, followed by a semi-circle in the shade with down downs for various heinous crimes committed including Moose Sperm’s, who pushed his own son of his bike. Till next month…On on,Sticky Balls